Tomorrow's Medals, Underwear, and the Miraculous Power
part X
何何と何何とあれこれ
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あれこれ/arekore means 'this and that,' which is exactly the euphemism you think it is!
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Ankh loved him. Ankh wanted him. When he held him his fingers dug into his back with a tenacity that made him taste saltwater. He washed the taste out with Ankh's lips, with fruit juice and sugar and sighs. Ankh's lips parted to release a small, melting sound. He leaned forward and pressed Eiji's back into the pillar that served as a divider between 'their' sides of the room. The heat in Eiji's face drained down his neck and into the rest of his body. He ran his hands up and down Ankh's back and felt the bird bones and tight muscles working under the fabric. He could feel every tremor up Ankh's back, every sudden flinch when he rolled his tongue under Ankh's or pressed too close to him.
“Ah.”Ankh pulled back, sighing, eyes shut, collecting himself.. This was a lot for him, Eiji knew. A lot, and fast.
He loosened his grip on Ankh. He tried to swallow down his desire for a moment. “Are you okay?”
“Don't ask me that again.” The pink blush painted all the way to Ankh's ears took the edge out of the command. It made it easier to hear the subtle plea, to see the fear behind his eyes. Eiji allowed himself to consider that Ankh feared less the act itself and more stopping and never starting again. He'd scraped up enough trust to ask for what he wanted, and every time Eiji questioned that he would reawaken the distrust Ankh had tried so hard to set aside.
“You're sure?”
“Don't ask me that either,” Ankh hissed as he disentangled himself from Eiji and swept a hand under his couch. He came right back, grasping Eiji's hands to pull him close and kiss him again. One hand pressed a small box into his palm and squeezed hard. Ankh broke the kiss with a smack and a grin. That look was so much more disarming than the kiss. “You'll know when I'm not sure.”
“How?”
“I'll punch you, that's how.” Eiji knew better than to argue with the look on Ankh's face. He half expected claws to dig into his cheeks for emphasis.
Eiji closed his hand around the little box and swallowed. He didn't have to look down at the big, bold print reading 0.01 to get an idea of what Ankh had handed him, but he did anyway. He didn't say a word. Instead, he directed a questioning look at Ankh.
“There's other stuff like that in the same box under there.” He carefully pulled the pin from his hair and tossed his head. “Wait here while I go change. Hina will strangle us both if you mess this thing up.”
“Why not just change here?”
Ankh didn't offer any answer. He slipped out the door and down the stairs, leaving Eiji to gingerly undress and investigate the box stashed under the couch. Another package of condoms and two innocuous blue squeeze tubes he could identify from context alone. He chucked one onto the bed before carefully stepping out of his boxers. He'd spent enough time around Ankh in just that, hadn't he? This wasn't so different.
Looking down at himself, he had to concede it was fairly different. He barely heard the soft knock on the inside of the door.
“Hey. Eiji.”
The sight of Ankh leaning on the door frame in a loose shirt that barely concealed his arousal made Eiji that much more keenly aware of his own. The languid, playful smile on Ankh's face didn't help. Or maybe it did. Eiji swallowed.
“Um, I guess just-”
It only took a couple long strides for Ankh to close the distance between them and loop his arms around Eiji. He pressed their bodies flush together, and they both gasped. There was, from that instant, no going back on anything. Something electric shot up Eiji's spine and he had to fight against the urge to rock forward and meet Ankh's body harder. Only the way Ankh's breath rattled in and out of his chest held him in check, and that frightened him.
“Is it good?”
“Yeah.” Ankh swallowed thickly and slipped away from Eiji to settle on the bed. He was smiling, if shakily. “Come on.”
Eiji wanted to ask how much Ankh knew, how much he'd done in private, but he didn't want to risk spooking him. By the pink flush that painted his skin from the open collar of his shirt to the roots of his hair, however, Eiji gathered Ankh was a stranger to these sensations. That, too, frightened him a little.
“What, you want me to undress you?” Eiji asked as he crawled onto the bed beside Ankh. He was a little too aware of the free weight between his legs, of the warm magnetism that drew his hand to the third button of Ankh's shirt.
Ankh's eyes narrowed dangerously. “Should I add mocking me to the list of reasons I can punch you tonight?”
“Jeez, I'm not making fun of you,” Eiji said as he unbuttoned Ankh's shirt to reveal the skinny, smooth form underneath. It had been disarming enough to see Ankh out of his usual layers and dressed in something that draped and fell around him. To see him wearing nothing at all, well. There was a reason Eiji couldn't abide talking about his feelings for Ankh with Hina for too long. He'd always been a little too fond of how Ankh wore her brother's skin.
Ankh tucked his chin against his bare chest and glowered from under his eyebrows. He was clearly trying to look menacing, but he only pulled off petulant. “Then why are you smiling like that?”
“Can't I smile because I'm happy?” Eiji smoothed his hands over Ankh's shoulders to slide his shirt off and let it puddle on the bed. Ankh whipped it across the room and scowled at him. “I like this side of you. It's like a nice secret I get to keep.”
Ankh blushed brighter and scoffed, looking away. “You're always saying stupid things.”
“Yeah, but they're true,” Eiji said, his smile broadening. He pushed back lightly on Ankh's skinny shoulders, and Ankh fell back onto the bed. He planted a hand on each side of him and leaned over him, studying his face and gauging the pace of his breath. Eyes dilated, skin flush pink, lips barely parted and puffing out soft breaths that came little quick. He was the picture of desire, but Eiji still felt compelled to ask, “Is this okay?”
Ankh didn't punch him. He smiled, and it was warm and unguarded and lovely. It was a smile he'd never give anyone else, and it reminded Eiji that he was lucky enough to hold the incredible weight of Ankh's fragile trust in his hands.
“It's fine.” Ankh slipped his arms around Eiji and released a long breath. “Quit stalling.”
“I just w-”
Ankh sealed Eiji's lips with his own and pulled him down. He smothered a moan in Eiji's mouth when their bodies met, hips arching and trembling. Eiji's breath caught in his throat. He broke the kiss quickly to prop himself back up on his elbows and slide down a bit on Ankh's body. He trailed wet, clumsy kisses over his neck, his shoulder, his chest. His dizzy mind drank in Ankh's smell and the hot thrum just under his skin and the small, sweet sounds he made.
“This is good, right?” Eiji asked, not to tease but to gauge his performance. He kissed Ankh's stomach and suppressed a smile when his taut skin quaked under his lips.
“Of course it is!” Ankh's fingers tangled in Eiji's hair, and Eiji could feel the tremor in his body traveling straight to his fingertips. He was struggling to hold himself in check, which Eiji had to admit he appreciated. “Give me more.”
Eiji fell silent, hands wandering aimlessly over Ankh's body in broad, smooth motions until he felt brave enough to part his thighs. Ankh's body was softer there than in his bony wrists and shoulders, just soft enough to press his thumbs in and rub appreciatively as he looked down at him. Ankh wasn't big, but his body strained with want. No wonder he was impatient.
A sharper tug at his hair pulled him out of his thoughts. He winced.
“Do you not know what to do or something? Are you that clueless?” Though Ankh glowered down at him the breathy tremor in his voice neutralized any venom in the words.
“I know what to do, I just like looking.” Eiji wrapped a hand around Ankh's prick and almost felt guilty over how efficiently even a simple touch shattered his bratty facade. The strangled sound he made and the way his hips jerked sharply upward betrayed a need and inexperience that outmatched Eiji's confidence. He wasn't ready to be anybody's first, least of all someone like Ankh.
Ankh's chest rose and fell in deep, measured breaths. “Ah. Don't tease me,” he said, the words escaping on a sigh that pitched up at the end. He arched his hips up to meet Eiji's hand and speed along his hesitant motions.
Eiji pumped his hand a little faster and watched with shameful satisfaction as Ankh's expression softened further. “I'm not teasing you,” he said, slowing again. Ankh shivered hard and swallowed audibly. He looked cute, but Eiji resolved not to mention that. “What you want me to do... It's gonna hurt. It might hurt a lot.”
“Do you think pain is new to me?” Ankh hissed, suddenly and chillingly lucid despite the breathless rasp to his voice. He gripped the wrist of Eiji's free hand and dug his fingernails into his skin. “Pain is the only thing Greed can always feel to the fullest. Think about that.”
“I don't want to,” Eiji said, mostly under his breath. He didn't have to think on it, he had felt it himself. When his senses began to slip away, warmth was denied to him while scalding heat still caused him to flinch away. He released Ankh and sat back, hands resting on his knees. Ankh watched him, half curious and half annoyed.
“What are you doing?”
“I'm nervous, okay? Give me a second. Jeez.” Eiji reached over Ankh's body to retrieve the box and tube he'd left on the bed. He turned the box over in his hands, looking for a place to neatly split the plastic skin open. “If you want this, I'm gonna try and make it feel as good as I can, okay?”
Ankh fidgeted and turned his head to one side. “Whatever.”
“Come on, just be patient.” Eiji balled the plastic wrapper up and flicked it into the waste basket between the bed and the table before fishing out one of the five foil packets in the box and ripping it open. He noticed Ankh watching him as he unrolled the condom over two of his fingers. He fumbled with the tube and by some miracle managed to get it open and flowing without taking his eyes off Ankh's face. “I have rough hands, okay? Just sit still and relax.”
Ankh spread his legs wider and squirmed, but quickly settled so that Eiji could press and circle his fingers against his opening. He had no experience to go on, only what he'd heard in hostels or read when he became excessively curious. This seemed right, or right enough. The tips of his fingers slipped in before long, and Ankh made a small, strangled sound through tightly shut lips.
But he didn't punch him, so Eiji swallowed his worries and pressed deeper, gently twisted and hooked his fingers until Ankh suddenly stiffened in a full body shudder and dug his fingers into the mattress.
“Eiji!” Ankh's eyes were wide, his lips parted. He looked more startled than hurt, but Eiji stilled his fingers to study Ankh's face.
“Does it hurt?”
“Less now,” Ankh said, taking a long breath. “That, just now... That was good.”
“Ah. Good.”
It took a few awkward moments to replicate the motion, but when Ankh cried out again, wordlessly, Eiji's whole body flamed with pride and desire. He burned the motion into his brain, tucked it away as another sweet secret about Ankh that was all his. He repeated it again and again until Ankh was shivering on the bed and taking shaky breaths through his mouth. The sight of Ankh like that and the feel of his soft, warm body squeezing tight around his fingers made it impossible to think clearly. When Ankh fixed his wide, glassy eyes on him, it sent a painful jolt straight down to his prick. He shuddered a little, and again when Ankh spoke.
“Eiji. More.”
“You're sure?” The words slipped out on impulse. Eiji braced himself for a strike across the face, but it never came. Ankh just screwed his face up in a sneer that looked ridiculous coupled with his reddened cheeks.
“Why do you keep asking me that? Do you think I'm stupid and I don't know what I want?” Behind the anger, possibly mingled with it, Eiji saw and heard the fragile desperation he'd only recently begun to truly notice in Ankh. The need, the fear, the reaching and grasping even as he erected walls around himself. Had it always been there?
Eiji sighed, looked down, and pulled his fingers out. He tossed his boxers off and threw the condom in the basket with its wrapper before he got another out. “No! It's...” He sighed again. How ridiculous must he look, pensively unwrapping a rubber? “There's a lot to say to explain why.”
“Save it.”
“I can't.” Eiji paused just long enough to get himself ready, taking measured centering breaths to keep from pawing at himself. He lifted Ankh's legs under the knees, just enough to angle his hips while he positioned himself. His heartbeat pounded in his ears. He breathed deeply and purposely. Why was he the one afraid of this? “Ankh, you're precious to me. I never wanna treat you in a way that makes you think that's not true. I can't make that mistake again.”
The anger in Ankh's eyes flickered away. He had that trapped look on his face again, all naked pain and fragile hope. “Just shut up and take what we both want.”
He did, slowly, letting the sensation and the breathy sound that Ankh made overwhelm him and steal his focus for a long moment. Ankh trembled under him and dug his heels into the small of his back to pull him deeper. Then they were still, both breathing deep and exhaling soft sounds until Eiji found the presence of mind to lean down and kiss Ankh's neck.
“I do love you, Ankh.”
When Eiji began to move, Ankh made a sound caught between a moan and a sob and threw an arm around Eiji's back to hold him in place. His nails bit into Eiji's skin as if to spur him on, and Eiji complied as well as his composure allowed. He had to pull back, straighten up, and grip Ankh's hips to pace himself. Ankh was in no position to pull him back down, so lost in these new feelings that his emotions escaped him raw. Pleased sounds bubbled out of his throat, sometimes reaching a pitch Eiji was certain would embarrass Ankh if he remembered it later. Those sounds were as intoxicating as the purely physical sensations driving his body, and it was only when moisture started to collect and run from the corners of Ankh's eyes that he slowed, almost stopped.
Ankh didn't punch him. He may not have even realized he had started to cry, because he turned glassy eyes full of confusion and want on Eiji and gripped one of Eiji's hands so hard that his bones ached. Ankh knew what he wanted, clearly, so Eiji redoubled his efforts to give him just that even as his willpower rapidly eroded. He moved erratically, eyes locked on Ankh's face.
Neither of them could last long, but Eiji managed to hold out until the blacks of Ankh's eyes doubled and he gave a wordless, almost startled cry that trailed off as his shuddering body stilled. Eiji pinched his eyes shut when he came, whining low in his throat as the residual tremors in Ankh's body emptied him out.
For a long moment, they just breathed. Eiji was the first to move again, kissing trails over Ankh's cheeks and neck to lap up and disguise the tears Ankh still hadn't noticed. Ankh's open palm buzzed his head, and he laughed.
They separated, were still for a few minutes, then went to shower at Ankh's insistence. They sat on the tiled floor, neither trusting his legs, until the water ran cool and they both wanted sleep. The next morning, Eiji woke to the buzz of his phone's alarm and grimaced on seeing four missed messages waiting for him. Three voicemails from Gotou and a single text from Date.
>Unlike some guys, I can take a hint. C☆O☆N☆G☆R☆A☆T☆S
Ankh breathed deep next to him. “What now?”
“Ah. Nothing.” Eiji set the phone back on the table. “Just checking the time.”
